It would be so nice if I could just sew, cook, be with my cat, etc everyday, but unfortunately-living costs money. So I have to work.
I started a new job in a hospital 2 weeks ago. I stay in a patient's room to keep an eye on them, keep them from falling, pulling out IVs and other distractions to the nursing staff. The twelve hour shifts overnight are draining, as are the patients-they're confused, suicidal, non-verbal/unintelligible, belligerent. I overscheduled myself these first few weeks, so basically I've worked & slept. That's it. My "time off" was spent in the boonies-so not home. Someday I'll be at home with Kaden and my machine again (I hope).
The most draining part (besides the hours and patients) is feeling so left out of everything. My sister has to arrange my mom's appointments, go with her-because I'm asleep. I'm trying to coordinate all the thanksgiving cooking I usually do in the days leading up to Thursday bc I'm working every night. Overnights don't bother me-except that I'm in dark rooms & not allowed to do much of anything while I'm with a patient.
***then I have nights like tonight where I get yelled at and I have to see him exposing himself trying to fix the diaper that's on him again bc he has to pull it to use the urinal he insisted on***
I'm hoping that I'll get to be in a "virtual sitter" room more often. It's less hands on, but I think that's what I need sometimes. I need to be in a lit room with someone to talk to that isn't gonna yell at me for trying to keep them safe. But I'm worried that their first fall will happen on my watch :|
This one is restless & belligerent-guess I should put this away. These are the nights I wonder wtf happened with my life that I'm in here doing this.
When I was a nurse working nights I use to give thanks that I was on the nurse side of the bed and not sick in the bed. Then to make myself feel better I gave thanks everyday that I had a job that I do to could support myself and my child. I prayed everyday that I would do more good than harm too. It is not an easy job, what you are doing, but all those poor souls are safer with you there.
ReplyDeleteBe strong and I hope you get some sewing time soon