Real Life Sucks (WARNING: sad pet story)

I promise this is meant to be a crafty blog...I wish reality would quit being so horrible and just let me be happy. But alas...

I have to have my dog, Percy, put down. My beautiful, wonderful "jealous boyfriend" that I've had for over 13 years. The past few years, especially since Hailie passed, have been uneventful. A few months ago, I noticed something wrong with his eyes-turns out he was going blind. He's been about 100% blind for a couple of weeks now. Everyone kept telling me he'd adjust...now all he does is sleep & use the bathroom. Watching him struggle to even get up to walk a bit is getting harder to do. He stumbles, bumps into things-doesn't know the house anymore. I've made a point of not moving anything major around, hoping he'd remember...

But he won't remember. Along with his increasing clumsiness and either major (or majorly selective) hearing loss, my baby is senile. He's paranoid, he doesn't like to be touched unless I talk for a few minutes right in front of him. I don't think he sees complete blackness-he sees smudges and blurs. If I stand in front of him and put my hands down near his nose, he follows my hand. That's how we're having to lead to the back door to have potty breaks. He's getting skinny, even though he seems to eat quite a bit. He's still eating and drinking, which is a plus, but...it feels like I have to make this decision. He can't walk very well anymore. He prefers the hot parts of the house instead of air conditioning. I had hoped that Mother Nature would take her course here, letting him go in his sleep instead of having to take him to the vet like Hailie. He's not crying in pain-but he's not able to do much else either. I promised him that if it got to the point he couldn't walk, I'd make this decision. My heart is breaking, my mind's a mess...I don't want to talk to anyone, really.

I'm hoping the vet can schedule him for Thursday. Give my dad a chance to come by if he wants to see Percy. He'll be cremated like Hailie...sprinkled in the same place Hailie was, along the fence where they chased snowballs their first white Christmas. I wonder if Alani came to me too late-Percy has been alone the past almost 3 years. He always protected Hailie. He protected me. Time for me to protect him one more time.